What can the Amish teach us about the "F" word?

Last week's horrible tragedy occurred about 20 miles away from us. Not that it matters, nor the fact that we have Amish neighbors, but I think that incidental familiarity caused my husband to be particularly curious about what the community reaction would be in regards to us "english", and in particular, this man that murdered several of their children. In light of their religion, would they brand him as evil incarnate? The devil in a milk truck?

As the story enfolded, horror and grief were shared by Amish and non-Amish alike. It was bad enough that this was not the sole incident of its kind even within a week, but there seemed to be something particularly tragic and senseless that it happened within a community that eschews violence, and ironically in a town called Paradise. Headlines on local newspapers caught my eye, though I did not pick them up to read.. one of them momentarily hitting a tiny chord as I rushed out of the store.. but then pushed aside as I went on my way. And then, my husband bringing home what he had read and heard about the goings on around the sad burial of the first young girl, which confirmed that I did read those headlines correctly. Am I hearing this right? The "F" word?

Yes, indeed. A word so insidious as to be shunned in our moralistic, God-blessed society. To my knowledge, it is not used in most decent circles, whether when discussing world events, or one's experience driving to work that day. It is most certainly taboo on all major media, regardless of political or religious affiliation.. or perhaps to be fair, it is used, but very selectively. To use the word with any emphatic meaning would be to proverbially have one's mouth washed out with soap, and perhaps publicly flogged.

And yet, there it was. Used by the Amish for all the world to hear. Forgiveness. It's all over the news now, from what I can see, and I am heartened by how much attention, positive attention, is being given to the words of one Amish grandfather to several young boys when he reminds them that they "must not think evil of this man". And to the Amish families that reached out to the wife and children of Charles Roberts with their condolences. And to the schoolteacher who says of Roberts, "He had problems of the heart."

Forgiveness is a tricky matter, indeed... or maybe we "english" just make it that way. Religious or no, at the very least, it is a letting go of the tremendous burden of carrying around the past, and the hate and anger that seems to accompany a desire for retribution, or what we like to call "justice". I pray that I will never have my faith tested by the loss of one of my children in such a way, but I pray harder that if I do, I will also come through it with forgiveness.